Flying funny kitten

To “clear hear”. Some may actually hear the voice audibly through their ears, and some (like me) hear it in their brain. Yes, there is a difference. Hearing people in your brain isn’t always a fun thing to experience while growing up. Luckily for me, I had an understanding parent that allowed me to be who I am and didn’t cart me off to a mental institution, unlike so many others in the past centuries. My saving grace, aside from my understanding parent, was my assumption that everyone heard what I heard. I was raised to never pry into others’ lives; this mixed with thinking I was an average everyday run of the mill person, made me lucky when it came to avoiding outside judgement. I grew up as normal as life permits and lived with my gifts privately and silently.

The way I describe my clear hearing is by visualizing it as a radio. Sometimes the tuning isn’t so great so it sounds like static, but sometimes it is tuned just right and sounds like someone turned the volume all the way up in your head. I admit, I hear things constantly, but with practice I have learned to turn the volume down. If I am tired on the other hand, all bets are off. There is no turning it down, it is like having 50 radios set on the highest volume, all going at the same time. It is utterly maddening.

Imagine yourself in a crowded room where everyone is trying to talk over one another. Then imagine that crammed in your head, where no one but you can hear it. Now imagine for a moment that you are actually in a crowded room full of ridiculously loud people, and you already have that kind of chatter going on in your head. Wouldn’t you run screaming out of the room? Maybe try to find some quiet place? Anybody would, right? BUT YOU CAN’T. You have to stand there and play nice and act like a normal member of society. You have to pretend you don’t hear it, you have to make social connections for school or work, you have to keep up appearances, and you can’t just become a recluse. Just imagine the amount of self-control it takes to accomplish the simple everyday motions of acting normal.

After a while you become so used to pretending it doesn’t exist, that the voices actually do fade away. Most people let them go and never try to get them back, who could blame them? Me, I’m one of the crazy ones. I missed the voices, missed the connection I had to that other realm, and missed how I could help others by simply listening. Even if I had wanted my abilities to fade away they never would have, because I was also unique in another way… I became very sick when I pushed the voices away. I went through a terrible clinical depression, lost astronomical amounts of weight, and had basically allowed myself to deteriorate. Letting those voices back in was the beginning of my journey to finding my true self.

Another example of clear hearing is just like walking around the streets of a big bustling city. If you tried to listen to what everyone around you was saying most of what you hear is utter nonsense. Not every voice you hear is going to be some spirit looking for help. Sometimes it is just hearing the middle of conversations and wondering, “Gosh, I came into that conversation at the wrong time.” You just sit back and let the spirits around you chatter away, and you mind your business. Then, on a very rare and special occasion, you happen upon a spirit that you connect with. One that approaches you with every intent to get to know you and maybe ask you for advice. It is magical and rare. It is in those moments, even if it is brief, which can make your whole life change. Like meeting a soul mate, it can feel the same on any plain of existence.

Even at a young age I was torn with the internal debate of whether or not this was a gift or a curse. The effort to maintain normalcy is exhausting. But I have found that we are all unique and we all have hidden talents that we are afraid to share. The fear may come from the possibility of being judged, or maybe a fear of not being good enough. Regardless, these gifts where given to you and they will always be a part of you. Stand up and be who you are, you are one of a kind and no one can take that from you. Be good to yourself, love yourself, and be proud of yourself.

Go with light and love.

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