My first idea that I was different was when I was about 5 years old. I had an “imaginary friend” named Beth; she was dressed like someone out of the Anne of Green Gables books. A little brown haired girl from the early 1900’s, she was my friend and my playmate for many years.
During the same time, I remember dancing amongst the trees in my back yard and I could hear and feel them. They would dance with me, swaying to the beat I had in my head and the humming of my throat. One of my favorite things to do was to raise my arms up in the air and feel my energy flow out of my hands. I could make the wind come and cause rain to start at will.
Beth would join me while I danced in the wind. One day she told me that I needed to go home and stop dancing in the wind. I never knew why exactly, but being young and pure I knew to trust her. My only guess was that someone had noticed my activities in my suburban straight-laced neighborhood, which would have gotten me in trouble. I never danced in those trees again.
After that it was many years of awkward growing and the deterioration of my family. My spirits always followed me around, but I was always instructed never to speak to them out loud. It was accepted in my family that I “knew” things, but it was unacceptable to look different in the eyes of the outside world. I grew very good at playing my part as the well behaved daughter and perfectly normal productive member of society. It was clear to me that any oddities would be overlooked as long as I maintained outward normalcy. This did not simply apply to being a Psychic, it applied to all aspects of my life and personality traits.
Behind closed doors I was allowed to talk to spirits and not be judged. I had endless amounts of journals to write in when I needed to get my thoughts out. But for the most part it was like living with an adoptive family, you never felt like you fully belonged there or had any real connection with them. I was a kind of different that they would never understand.
I always had at least two spirits around me throughout my life. They would come and go, giving me the emotional support I needed during certain parts of my life. Sometimes they would find me and sometimes I would find them, but for the most part I had lovely experiences. I was never haunted by evil things or stalked by black masses. I always knew that if I didn’t like a certain entity I could make it go away, for good if I had to. There was no doubt in my mind that I had all the power I needed to take control of the energy circling around me. Therefore I was never messed with or treated badly by spirits.
As for an actual definitive moment in which I realized I was a psychic, I just never had one. It was more of a growing feeling from a young age, I just felt different than most people. I realize that most people feel that way while growing up, but with me it was a constant reminder that maybe I would just never fit in anywhere. I had come to terms at a young age that I might have to live with this, alone, forever. I may not have peers or friends that I could confide in about these things. It was a process to get through, but I eventually learned to embrace it. How amazing it was to find out that I wasn’t alone after all these years. There are peers out there, I did find friends that understood, and I even found a partner that understands. Never lose hope. Life has a way of giving you things that you never thought you would have. One of them is hope.
Go with light and love.