Addressing boundaries when people ask for help.

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A psychic is a spiritual adviser of sorts, I will try to help with as much as I can, but I cannot fix everything. I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. It is not my place to diagnose issues or to help out in non-spiritual ways. I can weigh in my opinion, but if someone comes to me seeking help, I will assist them in finding the help they need, even if it means sending them somewhere else.

Being predominantly a Claircognizant Empath is defined as simply “knowing” information. My go-to is to give advice with no indication of its source. I can help with decisions and can read peoples intentions quickly. Sometimes it is hard to find out where my information comes from. I can directly connect with specific spirits if I need to, but it isn’t always necessary.

Now if someone comes to me asking for a psychic reading, I will connect to whomever they choose to connect with, or I will open myself up to anyone who wishes to communicate. But if someone comes to me for a psychic reading but doesn’t want me to confer with the universe, they’ve come to the wrong place.

My everyday life has very little carry-over when it comes to me as an individual versus myself as a psychic. Everyone I am close to knows who I am and what I do, yet I have rarely had any instances where people have overstepped a boundary. I don’t mind helping out and answering questions. Another good reason is because of something I mentioned in a previous blog post; I choose the friends and family I surround myself with very carefully.

A lot of the time I have the exact opposite problem actually. I am so upfront about my abilities to my close circle of friends, if they have a question it is asked outright. I encourage this. I am never asked formally for spiritual guidance, out of fear that I will feel used. This is hilarious to me, because I only keep people close that truly care. Needing that advice is completely okay to ask for (I’m looking at you friends).

My style is not at all common amongst the well-publicized psychic community. I have no gimmick, I have no ‘show’, I look like an average person, and I do not blow smoke up a person’s ass. NOT all psychics do this! I am merely making a point in regards to the TV version of psychics. Even ‘normal’ psychics are depicted bizarrely in the media. It only takes that one extreme case to make us all look questionable. Just remember, we are not all the same in any way.

The best way I can describe how it usually goes in a session with me is I try to make it feel like you are sitting down with a friend. I am all about comfort and hospitality. Once I am sure you are comfortable, that is when we can start talking. I answer questions and commune with spirits on a case by case basis.

Now, most of the time I have no issues, but on occasion I am asked questions that I am not sure the person actually wants to know the answer to. This is where I have a tricky situation to manage. I am not very filtered; if asked, I answer honestly. Sometimes the answer is not what the person is expecting and I can come off a bit harsh in the telling. It is not that I am incapable of passing information lightly; it is that I am simply a receiver and communicator. It is what it is. It is meant in the most sincere way and is never meant to be harsh.

Just know that if you come to a psychic asking if your significant other is cheating on you, don’t get mad at the messenger!

Go with light and love.

How do you stay confident enough to act on it?

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Being confident in your abilities is based quite simply on trust. You must trust yourself.

All of those inspirational sayings you see day-to-day about loving yourself and being good to yourself – those apply here. You have to be your own best friend. It takes daily conscious effort and work.

If you want to know how I am my own best friend, here are some rules I try to live by:

  • Stop saying sorry for your feelings.
  • Tell yourself you are beautiful at least once a day.
  • Be proud of yourself.
  • A moderate amount of vanity is encouraged.
  • Never lie to yourself.
  • Having emotions does not mean you are broken.
  • Don’t keep negative people around you.
  • You don’t have to defend yourself, to anyone.
  • Have a 3 strike rule: Give people 3 chances to fuck up, if they show no remorse and do not try to fix things in a positive way, cut them loose.
  • Having standards does NOT make you high maintenance.
  • Give yourself time in the day for yourself. No, it is not selfish.
  • Let yourself be vulnerable sometimes.
  • Do kind acts and get no recognition for it.
  • Don’t be too serious; be sure to laugh at yourself sometimes.
  • Give yourself unconditional love.
  • Tell yourself you are smart at least once a day.
  • Fuck up, learn from it, and let it go.
  • You do have a choice.
  • Fight for the good things in life.
  • Always celebrate small victories.
  • Make your own ‘normal’.

 

For a long time I thought that if I just had a bit more confidence, my abilities would be easier to manage. I have found that it has more to do with confidence in you – as an entire entity.

If you think about it, confidence is a perceived thing. If you know a fact or feeling to be true with all certainty, “right” or “wrong” is subjective. Oftentimes stubbornness can be confused as confidence. They are not one in the same. Be mindful of that.

The metaphysical world is not about factual timelines and high definition picture-like descriptions. It’s messy and emotional. The confidence comes from the understanding that everyone will see it differently, so how are you wrong?

Did you know that spirits can appear in any form they want to? Some of them make themselves look like huge monsters, when they were actually small and frail in their physical lives. Some spirits get trapped in a self-loathing spiral that transcends past their death and into the afterlife, causing them to become something other-worldly and grotesque. Some spirits are so evil that they take on forms that purposely scare you, purely for sick satisfaction or manipulation.

On a lighter note, some spirits will present themselves in a form that is non-threatening in order to keep you feeling safe and calm. Once a protective spirit appeared as Santa, because it knew the form would make children feel comfortable. Some spirits will come across as angelesque and some choose forms of animals, all to promote comfort. Altering their appearance is important when helping us in times of need.

It is all about the true nature of their soul, how they see themselves, and how they wish to affect their surroundings.

The point is that being a psychic is just who I am, whether or not people accepted my advice or visions as truth does not effect that fact. To this day, I am still amazed with how much my information connects with others. Put yourself and your intuitions out there, I guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised.

The confidence I strive to build in my life is for my own benefit. It is merely a bonus if it also helps other aspects of my life. My faith in what I see and what I feel is unwavering. I want to help others in any way I can, but I will never neglect myself and I will never question what I see. It is what it is.

Go with light and love.

What keeps me from tuning it out or turning it off.

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From my experiences, I have never been able to just turn off my abilities. It isn’t something that you can forcibly get rid of or avoid. It is a part of you. I have learned to manage my abilities over the years with constant practice through routine and living an introverted lifestyle. I choose my friends wisely and let go easily, I take my time with everyday tasks and decisions. I have found that being adaptable and flexible can keep you from going crazy while living this sort of life.

The only time my abilities have been dormant was after I had my child. Due to a lack of support, poor health, and a rough emotional patch – I believe my body was trying to repair itself and survive. Therefore my abilities dulled dramatically, but did not go away completely. During that time my energies would gather with nowhere to go. My inability to release the energies would then turn them into forms of black masses (or shadow people) that would haunt me and my home. It took about 3 years to get my mind, body, and energies back in order after that.

In order for me to control what and when I see things, I carry around an assortment of gemstones. They help, but they can only go so far. Gemstones and energy shields are the equivalent of an inhaler for asthma. They help to control the symptoms that could potentially, under the right circumstances, exacerbate an already chronic condition.

Sometimes there is just no resisting the visions, spirits, and feelings. That is when adaptability and flexibility is important. You have to relax and ride it out.

Out of respect for my friends and family, I do ‘turn it down’ in order to give them privacy from inadvertent prying. Now, ‘turning it down’ is just a term I use for others, it doesn’t mean it is turned off, it just means that the volume has been dimmed so low that I can barely hear it. I am essentially putting earmuffs on my spiritual ears and hoping for the best. I still get the occasional spirit or energy that seems to scream at the top of their metaphorical lungs, but if I ignore them long enough, they tend to get the point. Most spirits will be patient and wait their turn; time does not have the same meaning in their plane of existence.

You can also see the reason I must choose the friends and family I spend the most time with very carefully. By turning down the spiritual chatter while I am around them, it takes a massive amount of trust and will. I am essentially turning off my main source of instinctual information and trusting that the person will not take advantage of my naivety. It is terrifying, but it is also the quickest and easiest judge of character I have ever come across.

So, if you came here to try and figure out a way to make the chatter stop…I’m very sorry to inform you, but you are stuck with it. You will just have to learn to manage it day by day. My advice is to never ignore or push it away. From my experience, you can make yourself sick. It is how your body works and denying yourself of that will cause all sorts of adverse effects. Many doctors and scientists have documented the effects of living in a high stress environment and what it can do to your physical body. Pushing your body to disregard a natural progressionary cycle can do just as much, if not more, damage. Be gentle with yourself, be forgiving of yourself, and embrace who you are.

Go with light and love.