Grief is a whole different ballgame when you ‘see’ people after their physical self has ceased to be. Being a psychic, I get to see with my own eyes that it is not over after death. It does not make me have fond feeling towards death, by any means, but the understanding of the cycle does take some of the fear out of the process.
Sadness is still going to be there. Being sad that you don’t see someone ‘in the flesh’ still happens, you can’t stop grief. Seeing them in a ‘soul form’ is different. It is hard to explain, but trust me, it is different. They aren’t just who they were during this life, they are a culmination of all of their lives in one soul form. They remember past events, but it isn’t as tangible as it was in life. It is boiled down to feelings instead of factual memories; they remember the emotion attached to the experience and what it meant to them.
A loved one of mine passed away two years ago today and I was able to say my goodbyes to them before they passed. When I visited them just days before their passing, I told them I loved them, held their hand and waited for them to fall asleep. After they started napping I softly explained to them how important they are to me and how I will never forget the impact their life meant to mine. Then I explained that I will wait for them. When they are ready, they can find me and I will talk them through the transition of death. I am proud to say they transitioned well with little help from me, which only proves that certain personality traits are rarely lost once the physical body dies. They still provide me with guidance when I need it, just like in life, but with even more acceptance and care than before. I like to think I helped them, even if it was just a supportive ear when they had questions. Sometimes the spirits get to a point where they are ready to go on to wherever they need to go, but a lot of times they hang around me (or others) for years.
I make a point to leave myself open for others when they pass. What I mean by “open” is that I expect to feel or see them, and I welcome their soul to visit me. I tell friends and family to come to me if they need guidance after passing. Most of the time they do come, it may take a few hours or a few weeks, but they do show up eventually.
I try to be as supportive as I can when it comes to funerals and death in general. I have a personal preference not to cry at funerals, because I want to support others in their time of need. When it does come time for me to grieve, I find a nice comfortable private place where I sob my eyes out for about 30 mins, then I clean myself up and move on with my day. Grieving is a natural part of your bodies process of acceptance. It has to be done. Grieving is not weakness, it will not last forever, and you and your life will eventually move on as it should. Guilt and torturing yourself for things said or never said in life will not bring them back. Give yourself a break and do the best you can to give kindness forward with the life you have ahead of you.
Despite my ability to see beyond, I still feel the loss of someone’s passing, I am human after all. The family member I referenced previously will never get to see me get married, and I have to accept that. I have to have faith that they will be able to feel my happiness and that needs to be enough for me. If you look at it the way I do, you will realize that life is short and to be with the ones you love in that moment is precious. Never take care, kindness, and love for granted. They are not permanent, so treat every moment like you will never see it again. Believe me when I say that it will make even the most mundane moments abundant with depth and feeling. It will also make you realize your worth. The unacceptable negative treatment you may see throughout your life is no longer tolerated. It makes leaving that treatment behind to seek happiness easier to accomplish.
Loss is scary, but to have never had those wonderful moments in the first place is even scarier. Be thankful for the people that graced your life with kindness.
Side note: If you have trouble coping with grief, or even just want someone to talk to, seek out a spiritual counselor or a close friend. It is worth it. They can hear you out and give you advice on where to go from here. You are not alone in your feelings and you have people who care for you. Reach out if you need.
Go with light and love.