I have spent majority of my life living in secret. From a very young age I observed what happened to people throughout history that had been perceived as different by society. I worked every moment of every day to meticulously maintain an exterior of normalcy. As I became an adult, it was easy to assimilate to the norm taught to us.
Until one day I didn’t want to live in someone else’s ‘normal’ anymore.
I always thought that if you follow the rules you get your happiness. It is awarded to you through hard work and others acceptance of you. The ironic thing was, the more I tried to fit in, the less happy I became. One day I looked around and wondered how I had created this life. How had I actively made all these decisions and choices that somehow led me further and further away from joy?
It started as a slow process, noticing small compromises here and there. I chose things to make others happy with the precise assumption that one day I would get my turn. But guess what? I never got my turn. There was no one tallying up the points. No one to say, “Ok Hun, after Bobby goes, it is your turn.” Life just doesn’t work that way.
One day I got impatient and I asked myself, “Why can’t I just be happy now?” I had no answer – except the realization that happiness isn’t something you earn, it is something you create.
The moment I chose happiness was the day that everything started falling together. I joined groups, I got hobbies, I started taking classes, and I made decisions that would make me happy. Weird things started immediately happening in my life. The good stuff became better and the bad stuff became intolerable. I started cutting off things that only gave me sadness and guilt. I started focusing on things that made me feel whole. My heart grew and I saw the value in myself where no one else had before.
I even met the love of my life. He had been there the whole time, but in my need to please everyone but myself, I had never noticed. I had found myself; and in my worth, I found the person that loves who I really am.
Now, on the downside, when I finally spoke out about being a psychic, some people turned mean. They looked at me with a confusion that made me understand why I had hidden in the shadows for so long. This obviously did not slow me down. I had finally found my happy place and I wasn’t turning back for anything. What I didn’t realize was the look of hate on their faces wasn’t actually hate at all.
People fear what they do not understand. If they don’t have an opening in their reality for something like this, the only place to file it is under “FEAR IT”. Fear is natural and understandable. It is a defense mechanism and a survival trait, much like “fight or flight”. It is the brain processing new information and trying to sort it into its proper place. Suddenly having to reassess someone’s threat to you is hard and it takes time.
Like I said though, none of this will ever slow me down. It may have taken 32 years to admit what I am, but now that I have, there is no turning back. Majority have embraced this new category of human I fit into, and I will always be thankful for that. As for the people that needed time, I don’t blame you.
I just want you all to know that I am here for you. Psychics are people – normal, awkward people. I would never do anything to harm you or to make you uncomfortable (at least not intentionally). I have a huge heart and want to help everyone as much as I can. I don’t have a game or an ulterior motive; I have nothing to gain by labeling myself as a psychic.
If we all fear what we don’t understand, then come to me for understanding. Ask questions with an open heart and I will dispel your fears.
Go with light and love.