The first time I was pregnant, I made a point to ignore the changes I felt going on in my body. I was young and scared and the only way I could defend against those feelings was to compartmentalize my feelings. I focused on eating right, staying active, and working as much as I could. I refused to acknowledge my psychic abilities and any energy going on around me. It was self preservation because if I was being truly honest with myself, I would have seen what a terrible situation I was living in at the time.

The best thing to ever happen to me was having my son. He was the first person that ever showed me unconditional love. This little being needed me, depended on me, and trusted me to make the right choices. That kind of power over a human made me step up to the plate and make sure I would never screw it up. The responsibility weighed heavily, and that first moment I held my baby in my arms, I promised him that I would do anything I could to make his life better.

It took years and very hard work, but I finally found a place of love and support. I came to like myself and embrace the gifts I had. Honing in on my psychic awareness and learning how to develop it. Now that I am pregnant with my second child and I am at a point in my life that is far more stable, and as a result I am experiencing everything in a vastly different way.

To start, being pregnant has made my abilities expand and strengthen. Due to this change, I am in need of solace more often and in larger quantities. Recovery time from speaking to spirits is kicking my ass. It may be easier to communicate with spirits, but dang, my body gets a swift kick in the pants from it.

One day I was feeling particularly rough, I had begun to have some bleeding and it scared me quite a bit. It seems to be fine, but I had to go through a bunch more tests and ultrasounds than originally planned. My husband has been amazing when it comes to the support he continually gives, but when it comes to the spiritual side, I call upon my grandpa to support me. For all that do not know, my grandfather passed a few years back and has been an ongoing source of support for me through his spirit form. I asked him to tell me if things will be ok. My grandfather assured me that I would be ok. It seems like such a simple thing to need, but coming from a spirit, it creates a feeling of ease that is hard to compare.

Then I broached the more important issue with my spiritual support; why I couldn’t feel the energy in my womb, why I couldn’t hear the baby’s spiritual voice, and why was my baby’s spirit not visiting me anymore. I had just assumed that she would be closer to me now that I was harboring her physical body, but apparently that is not the case. I soon learned that during pregnancy the fetus is in a state of energy fluctuation and it takes some time for the soul to become fully attached to it’s possible physical host. The soul and the physical body do not become one until sometime in the last trimester. During this time of in-between, the soul of the baby waits for it’s time to jump on in. While this is happening, the spirit of the baby is not quite ‘here’ and not quite ‘there’. Hence the reason why I cant seem to hear her.

The only thing that I can hear is the energy “hum” that comes from all things alive around us. I hear my tiny growing baby’s energy-hum, like it is a tingle in the back of your mind, or goosebumps running up your neck. It’s there. The only comparison I can explain is when you get near a electricity conductor. You may not see the electricity, but you can hear the pulsing hum that radiates from it. That is how I hear energy.